The Eleventh Night of the Month

When the evening came and the king had taken his seat, he summoned the Wazir and required of him the story of the Robber and the Woman. Quoth the Minister, “Hear, O king,

The Tale of the Robber and the Woman

A certain Robber was a cunning workman and used not to steal aught, till he had wasted all that was with him; moreover, he stole not from his neighbours, neither companied with any of the thieves, for fear lest some one should betray him, and his case become public. After this fashion he abode a great while, in flourishing condition, and his secret was concealed, till Almighty Allah decreed that he broke in upon a beggar, a poor man whom he deemed rich. When he gained access to the house, he found naught, whereat he was wroth, and necessity prompted him to wake that man, who lay asleep alongside of his wife. So he aroused him and said to him, “Show me thy treasure.” Now he had no treasure to show; but the Robber believed him not and was instant upon him with threats and blows. When he saw that he got no profit of him, he said to him, “Swear by the oath of divorce[FN#382] from thy wife that thou hast nothing.” So he sware and his wife said to him, “Fie on thee! Wilt thou divorce me? Is not the hoard buried in yonder chamber?” Then she turned to the Robber and conjured him to be weightier of blows upon her husband, till he should deliver to him the treasure, anent which he had forsworn himself. So he drubbed him with a grievous drubbing, till he carried him to a certain chamber, wherein she signed to him that the hoard was and that he should take it up. So the Robber entered, he and the husband; and when they were both in the chamber, she locked on them the door, which was a stout and strong, and said to the Robber, “Woe to thee, O fool! Thou hast fallen into the trap and now I have but to cry out and the officers of police will come and take thee and thou wilt lose thy life, O Satan!” Quoth he, “Let me go forth;” and quoth she, “Thou art a man and I am a woman; and in thy hand is a knife, and I am afraid of thee.” He cried, “Take the knife from me.” So she took it and said to her husband, “Art thou a woman and he a man? Pain his neck nape with tunding, even as he tunded thee; and if he put out his hand to thee, I will cry out a single cry and the policemen will come and take him and hew him in two.” So the husband said to him, “O thousand horned,[FN#383] O dog, O dodger, I owe thee a deposit[FN#384] wherefor thou hast dunned me.” And he fell to bashing him grievously with a stick of holm oak,[FN#385] whilst he called out to the woman for help and prayed her to deliver him: but she said, “Keep thy place till the morning, and thou shalt see queer things.” And her husband beat him within the chamber, till he killed[FN#386] him and he swooned away. Then he left beating him and when the Robber came to himself, the woman said to her husband, “O man, this house is on hire and we owe its owners much money, and we have naught; so how wilt thou do?” And she went on to bespeak him thus. The Robber asked “And what is the amount of the rent?” ‘The husband answered, “’Twill be eighty dirhams;” and the thief said, “I will pay this for thee and do thou let me go my way.” Then the wife enquired, “O man, how much do we owe the baker and the greengrocer?” Quoth the Robber, “What is the sum of this?” And the husband said, “Sixty dirhams.” Rejoined the other, “That makes two hundred dirhams; let me go my way and I will pay them.” But the wife said, O my dear, and the girl groweth up and needs must we marry her and equip her and do what else is needful.” So the Robber said to the husband, “How much dost thou want?” and he rejoined, “An hundred dirhams in a modest way.”[FN#387] Quoth the Robber, “That maketh three hundred dirhams.” Then the woman said, “O my dear, when the girl is married, thou wilt need money for winter expenses, charcoal and firewood and other necessaries.” The Robber asked “What wouldst thou have?” And she answered, “An hundred dirhams.” He rejoined, “Be it four hundred dirhams.” And she continued, “O my dear and O coolth of mine eyes, needs must my husband have capital in hand,[FN#388] wherewith he may buy goods and open him a shop.” Said he, “How much will that be?” And she, “An hundred dirhams.” Quoth the Robber, “That maketh five hundred dirhams; I will pay it; but may I be triply divorced from my wife if all my possessions amount to more than this, and they be the savings of twenty years! Let me go my way, so I may deliver them to thee.” Cried she, “O fool, how shall I let thee go thy way? Utterly impossible! Be pleased to give me a right token.”[FN#389] So he gave her a token for his wife and she cried out to her young daughter and said to her, “Keep this door.” Then she charge her husband to watch over the Robber, till she should return, and repairing to his wife, acquainted her with his case and told her that her husband the thief had been taken and had compounded for his release, at the price of seven hundred dirhams, and named to her the token. Accordingly, she gave her the money and she took it and returned to her house. By this time, the dawn had dawned; so she let the thief go his way, and when he went out, she said to him, “O my dear, when shall I see thee come and take the treasure?” And he, “O indebted one,[FN#390] when thou needest other seven hundred dirhams, wherewith to amend thy case and that of thy children and to pay thy debts.” And he went out, hardly believing in his deliverance from her. “Nor,” continued the Wazir, “is this stranger than the story of the Three Men and our Lord Ísà.” So the king bade him hie to his own home.