The Twentieth Night of the Month

When the evening evened, the King bade summon his Minister and he presented himself before him, whereupon he required of him the hearing of the story. So the Wazir said, “Hearkening and obedience. Give ear, O King, to

The Tale of the Weaver who Became a Leach by Order of his Wife

There was once, in the land of Fars,[FN#431] a man who wedded a woman higher than himself in rank and nobler of lineage, but she had no guardian to preserve her from want. She loathed to marry one who was beneath her; yet she wived with him because of need, and took of him a bond in writing to the effect that he would ever be under her order to bid and forbid and would never thwart her in word or in deed. Now the man was a Weaver and he bound himself in writing to pay his wife ten thousand dirhams in case of default. Atfer such fashion they abode a long while till one day the wife went out to fetch water, of which she had need, and saw a leach who had spread a carpet hard by the road, whereon he had set out great store of simples[FN#432] and implements of medicine and he was speaking and muttering charms, whilst the folk flocked to him from all quarters and girt him about on every side. The Weaver’s wife marvelled at the largeness of the physician’s fortune[FN#433] and said in herself, “Were my husband thus, he would lead an easy life and that wherein we are of straitness and poverty would be widened to him.” Then she returned home, cark full and care full, and when her husband saw her in this condition, he questioned her of her case and she said to him, “Verily, my breast is harrowed by reason of thee and of the very goodness of thine intent,” presently adding, “Narrow means suit me not and thou in thy present craft gainest naught; so either do thou seek out a business other than this or pay me my rightful due[FN#434] and let me wend my ways.” Her husband chid her for this and advised her to take patience; but she would not be turned from her design and said to him, “Go forth and watch yonder physician how he doth and learn from him what he saith.” Said he, “Let not thy heart be troubled,” and added, “I will go every day to the session of the leach.” So he began resorting daily to the physician and committing to memory his answers and that which he spoke of jargon,[FN#435] till he had gotten a great matter by rote, and all this he learned and thoroughly digested it. Then he returned to his wife and said to her, “I have stored up the physician’s sayings in memory and have mastered his manner of muttering and diagnoses and prescribing remedies and I wot by heart the names of the medicines[FN#436] and of all the diseases, and there abideth of thy bidding naught undone: so what dost thou command me now to do?” Quoth she, “Leave the loom and open thyself a leach’s shop;” but quoth he, “My fellow townsmen know me and this affair will not profit me, save in a land of strangerhood; so come, let us go out from this city and get us to a foreign land and there live.” And she said, “Do whatso thou willest.” Accordingly, he arose and taking his weaving gear, sold it and bought with the price drugs and simples and wrought himself a carpet, with which they set out and journeyed to a certain village, where they took up their abode. Then the man fell to going round about the hamlets and villages and outskirts of towns, after donning leach’s dress; and he began to earn his livelihood and make much gain. Their affairs prospered and their circumstances were bettered; wherefore they praised Allah for their present ease and the village became to them a home. In this way he lived for a long time, but at length he wandered anew,[FN#437] and the days and the nights ceased not to transport him from country to country, till he came to the land of the Roum and lighted down in a city of the cities thereof, wherein was Jálinús[FN#438] the Sage; but the Weaver knew him not, nor was aware who he was. So he fared forth, as was his wont, in quest of a place where the folk might be gathered together, and hired the courtyard[FN#439] of Jalinus. There he spread his carpet and setting out on it his simples and instruments of medicine, praised himself and his skill and claimed a cleverness such as none but he might claim.[FN#440] Jalinus heard that which he affirmed of his understanding and it was certified unto him and established in his mind that the man was a skilled leach of the leaches of the Persians and he said in himself, “Unless he had confidence in his knowledge and were minded to confront me and contend with me, he had not sought the door of my house neither had he spoken that which he hath spoken.” And care and doubt gat hold upon Jalinus: so he drew near the Weaver and addressed himself to see how his doings should end, whilst the folk began to flock to him and describe to him their ailments,[FN#441] and he would answer them thereof, hitting the mark one while and missing it another while, so that naught appeared to Jalinus of his fashion whereby his mind might be assured that he had justly estimated his skill. Presently, up came a woman with a urinal,[FN#442] and when the Weaver saw the phial afar off, he said to her, “This is the water of a man, a stranger.” Said she, “Yes;” and he continued, “Is he not a Jew and is not his ailment flatulence?” “Yes,” replied the woman, and the folk marvelled at this; wherefore the man was magnified in the eyes of Jalinus, for that he heard speech such as was not of the usage of doctors, seeing that they know not urine but by shaking it and looking straitly thereon, neither wot they a man’s water from a woman’s water, nor a stranger’s from a countryman’s, nor a Jew’s from a Sharif’s.[FN#443] Then the woman asked, “What is the remedy?” and the Weaver answered, “Bring the honorarium.”[FN#444] So she paid him a dirham and he gave her medicines contrary to that ailment and such as would only aggravate the complaint. When Jalinus saw what appeared to him of the man’s incapacity, he turned to his disciples and pupils and bade them fetch the mock doctor, with all his gear and drugs. Accordingly they brought him into his presence without stay or delay, and when Jalinus saw him before him, he asked him, “Knowest thou me?” and the other answered, “No, nor did I ever set eyes on thee before this day.” Quoth the Sage, “Dost thou know Jalinus?” and quoth the Weaver, “No.” Then said Jalinus, “What drave thee to do that which thou dost?” So he acquainted him with his adventure, especially with the dowry and the obligation by which he was bound with regard to his wife whereat the Sage marvelled and certified himself anent the matter of the marriage settlement. Then he bade lodge him near himself and entreated him with kindness and took him apart and said to him, “Expound to me the story of the urine phial and whence thou knewest that the water therein was that of a man, and he a stranger and a Jew, and that his ailment was flatulence?” The Weaver replied, “’Tis well. Thou must know that we people of Persia are skilled in physiognomy,[FN#445] and I saw the woman to be rosy cheeked, blue eyed and tall statured. Now these qualities belong to women who are enamoured of a man and are distracted for love of him;[FN#446] moreover, I saw her burning with anxiety; so I knew that the patient was her husband.[FN#447] As for his strangerhood, I noted that the dress of the woman differed from that of the townsfolk, wherefore I knew that she was a foreigner; and in the mouth of the phial I saw a yellow rag,[FN#448] which garred me wot that the sick man was a Jew and she a Jewess. Moreover, she came to me on first day;[FN#449] and ’tis the Jews’ custom to take meat puddings[FN#450] and food that hath passed the night[FN#451] and eat them on the Saturday their Sabbath, hot and cold, and they exceed in eating; wherefore flatulence and indigestion betide them. Thus I was directed and guessed that which thou hast heard.” Now when Jalinus heard this, he ordered the Weaver the amount of his wife’s dowry and bade him pay it to her and said to him, “Divorce her.” Furthermore, he forbade him from returning to the practice of physic and warned him never again to take to wife a woman of rank higher than his own; and he gave him his spending money and charged him return to his proper craft. “Nor” (continued the Wazir), “is this tale stranger or rarer than the story of the Two Sharpers who each cozened his Compeer.” When King Shah Bakht heard this, he said to himself, “How like is this story to my present case with this Minister, who hath not his like!” Then he bade him hie to his own house and come again at eventide.