al-hakawati - 4-g- Tale of the Kazi and the Bhang-Eater

4-g- Tale of the Kazi and the Bhang-Eater - History of the First Larrikin

Verily, O King, my tale is a rare and it is e"en as follows:--I had a mother of whose flocks the World had left her but a single kid, and we owned ne"er another. Presently we determined to sell it; and, having so done, we bought it with its price a young calf, which we brought up for a whole year till it grew fat and full-sized. Then my mother said to me, "Take yon calf and go sell it;" so I went forth with it to the Bazar, and I saw that not one was like it, when behold, a body of vagabonds,[FN#325] who numbered some forty, looked at the beast, and it pleased them; so they said one to other, "Let us carry this away and cut its throat and flay it." Then one of them, as all were standing afar off, came near me and said, "O youth, wilt thou sell this kid?" and quoth I, "O my uncle, verily this is a calf and not a kid;" and the other rejoined, "Art thou blind? This is a kid." Cried I, "A calf!" So he asked, "Wilt thou take from me a dollar?"[FN#326] and I answered, "Nay, O my uncle!" Thereupon he went away from me, and another came after him and said, "O youth, wilt thou sell this kid?" and said I, "This is a calf," and quoth he "This is a kid," and reviled me the while I held my peace. Again quoth he, "Wilt thou take for this a dollar?" but I was not satisfied therewith, and they ceased not to wrangle with me, one after other, each coming up and saying, "O youth, wilt thou sell this kid?" At last their Shaykh[FN#327] accosted me and cried, "Wilt thou sell it?" and I rejoined, "There is no Majesty save in Allah! I will sell it on one condition, to wit, that I take from thee its tail." Replied to me[FN#328] the Shaykh of the Vagabonds, "Thou shalt take the tail when we have slaughtered it;" then, paying me a dollar, he led off the beast, and returned to his own folk. Presently they killed it and flayed it, when I took the tail and hastened back to my mother. She said to me, "Hast thou sold the calf?" and said I, "Yes, I have sold it, and have taken a dollar and the calf"s tail." "And what wilt thou do for the tail?" asked she; and I answered, "I will do him brown[FN#329] who took it from me saying, This is a kid, and I will serve him a sleight which shall get out of him to its price ten times one hundred."[FN#330] With these words I arose and, taking the tail, I flayed it and studded it with nails and bits of glass, and I asked of my mother a maiden"s dress, which she brought me; and presently I covered my face with a Burka"-veil[FN#331] and I adorned me and perfumed myself and I girded my loins underneath my clothes with the tail of that calf. Then went I forth like a virgin girl till I reached the barrack of those blackguards, when I found that they had cooked the whole calf and naught of it remained undressed, and they had prepared to spread the table and were about sitting downt o supper. Then I went[FN#332] in to them and said, "The Peace be upon you," and they rose to me in a body of their joy, and returned my greetings and said, "By Allah, our night is a white one." So I entered to them and supped with them, and they all inclined to me, and their mustachios wagged in token that they would disport with me. But when darkness came on they said, "This night is for our Shaykh, but after this each one of us shall take her for his own night."--And Shahrazad was surprised by the dawn of day, and fell silent and ceased to say her permitted say. Then quoth her sister Dunyazad, "How sweet is thy story, O sister mine, and how enjoyable and delectable!" Quoth she, "And where is this compared with that I should relate to you on the coming night an the King suffer me to survive?" Now when it was the next night and that was

The Four Hundred and Forty-first Night,

Dunyazad said to her, "Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be other than sleepy, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night!" She replied, "With love and good will!" It hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director, the right-guiding, lord of the rede which is benefiting and of deeds fair-seeming and worthy celebrating, that the vagabonds said, "Each one of us shall take her to him for a night after the Shaykh, "and so saying they left me and went their ways. Then the Chief fell to chatting with me and he was in high spirits, when suddenly my glance fell upon a rope hanging from the ceiling of that barrack and I cried, "O Shaykh!" whereto he replied, "Yes, O my lady and light of mine eyes." Said I to him, "What may be this cord thus suspended?" and said he, "This is called "hanging-gear"; and, when any of ours requireth chastisement from my associates, we hoist him up by this rope and we bash him." Quoth I, "Hang me up and let me see how "tis done," but quoth he, "Heaven forfend, O my lady! I will hang myself in thy stead and thou shalt look upon me." Hereat he arose and tied himself tight and cried, "Haul up this rope and make it fast in such a place!" I did his bidding and bound it right firmly and left him hanging in the air. Presently he cried, "Let go the cord," and replied I, "O Shaykh, first let me enoy the spectacle." Then I stripped him of all his clothing and drawing forth the calf"s tail which was studded with nails and glass splinters, I said to him, "O Shaykh, is this the tail of a kid or of a calf?" "What woman art thou?" asked he, and I answered, "I am the owner of the calf;" and then, tucking up my two sleeves to the elbows, I beat him till I stripped him of his skin and he lost his senses and he had no breath wherewith to speak. Thereupon I arose and fell to searching the hall, where I found sundry valuables amongst which was a box, so I opened it and came upon three hundred gold pieces and a store of reals[FN#333] and silverlings and jadids.[FN#334] I laid hands on the whole of it and bore off somewhat of the most sumptuous dresses; and, having wrapped them all up in a sheet, I carried them away; and about dawn I went in to my mother and cried, "Take thee to the price of the calf, which I have received from the purchaser." But when the day was high and the sun waxed hot the whole troop of the Shaykh collected and said, "Verily our Elder hath slept till the undurn hour;" and one of them declared, ""Tis from enjoying so much pleasure and luxury, he and the girl; and doubtless their night hath been a white[FN#335] night." So they ceased not talking together and each of them had his word until the noon was high, when certain of them said, "Come with us and let us rouse him from sleep:" and, saying thus, all went to the door of the hall and opened it. Hereupon they found their Shaykh hanging up and his body bleeding profusely;[FN#336] so they asked him, "What hath befallen thee?" and he answered in a weak voice, "Verily that girl is no girl at all, but she is the youth who owned the calf." They replied, "By Allah, there is no help but that we seize him and slay him;" whereto the Edler said, "Loose me and lead me to the Hammam that I may wash clean my skin of all this blood." Then they let him down and after mounting him upon a donkey they bore him to the baths. Hereat I went to the slaughterhouse and and covered my body with bullocks" blood and stuck to it pledgets of cotton so that I became like one sorely diseased and I repaired to the same Hammam propped upon a staff and required admittance. They refused me saying, "The Shaykh of the Vagabonds is now in the baths nor may anyone go in to him." Quoth I to them, "I am a man with a malady," whereto quoth one of them, "This is a poor wight, so let him come within." Accordingly I entered and found the Chief alone, whereupon I drew forth the tail and asked him, "O Shaykh, is this the tail of a calf or a kid?" "Who art thou?" said he, and I said, "I am the owner of the calf;" after which I fell to beating him with the tail until his breath was clean gone. Then I left him and went forth from the Hamam by another door so as to avoid his followers.--And Shahrazad was surprised by the dawn of day and fell silent and ceased saying her permitted say. Then quoth her sister Dunyazad, "How sweet and tasteful is thy tale, O sister mine, and how enjoyable and delectable!" Quoth she, "And where is this compared with that I should relate to you on the coming night an the King suffer me to survive?" Now when it was the next night and that was

The Four Hundred and Forty-second Night,

Dunyazad said to her, "Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be other than sleepy, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night!" She replied, "With love and good will!" It hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director, the right-guiding, lord of the rede which is benefiting and of deeds fair-seeming and worthy celebrating, that the youth, the owner of the calf, after beating the Shaykh of the Vagabonds with a sore bashing within the Bath went forth by the back door. Whereupon (continued the Larrikin) the followers of the Chief went in and they found him at his last breath and moaning from the excess of blows. Quoth they, "What is the matter with thee?" and quoth he, "That man with a malady who came into the Hammam is none other but the owner of the calf and he hath killed me." So they took him up and carried him from the place and he said to them, "Do ye bear me outside the city and set up for me a tent and lay me therein, after which do ye gather round about me and never leave me at all." Hereat they mounted him upon an ass and bore him to the place he described and, pitching a tent, set him therein and all sat around him. Presently the tidings reached me, whereupon I changed my clothes for a disguise and drew near the tent whereabouts I found a Badawi-man feeding his sheep. So I said to him, "O Badawi, take this ducat and draw near yonder tent and call aloud, saying, "I am the owner of the calf;" after which make off with thy life for an they catch thee they will slay thee." "By Allah," quoth the Arab, "even if they rode their best mares none of them could come up with me!" So I took charge of the sheep while the Badawi approaching the tent cried in his loudest voice, "By Allah, I am the owner of the calf." Hearing this the vagabonds sprang to their feet as one body and drew their weapons and rushed after the Badawi; but, when he had run some distance from the tent with all the men behind him, I went in and drawing from below my clothes the tail of the calf said, "O Shaykh, is this the tail of a calf or a kid?" The Elder asked, "Art thou not he who cried out, I am the owner of the calf?" and I answered, "No, I am not," and came down upon him with the tail and beat him until he could no longer breathe. Then I took the properties belonging to his party and wrapping them in a sheet carried them off and quitting the place I went in to my mother and said to her, "Take them to the worth of the calf." Now those who had run after the Badawi ceased not pursuing him, yet could none of them come up with him and when they were tired they returned from the chase and stinted not walking until they entered the tent. There they found the Shaykh breathless nor could he move save to make signs; so they sprinkled a little water upon his face; and the life returned to him and he said to them, "Verily the owner of the calf came to me and beat me till he killed me and the wight who cried, "I am the owner of the calf" is an accomplice of his." Thereupon all waxed furious and the Elder said to them, "Bear me home and give out that your Shakyh is deceased; after which do you bathe my body and carry me to the cemetery and bury me by night and next morning disinter me so that the owner of this calf may hear that I am dead and leave me in peace. Indeed as long as I continue in this condition he will devise for me device after device and some day will come in to me and kill me downright." They did what their Shaykh bade them and began crying and keening and saying, "Verily our Chief is deceased," so that the report was bruited abroad that the Shaykh of the Vagabonds had died. But I, the owner of the calf, said to myself, "By Allah, an he be dead, they will assuredly make for him some mourning ceremony." Now when they had washed him and shrouded him and carried him out upon the bier, and were proceeding to the graveyard that they might bury him, and had reached half way to it, lo and behold! I joined the funeral train and suddenly walking under the coffin with a sharp packing-needle[FN#337] in hand,--And Shahrazad was surprised by the dawn of day and fell silent and ceased saying her permitted say. Then quoth her sister Dunyazad, "How sweet is thy story, O sister mine, and how enjoyable and delectable." Quoth she, "And where is this compared with that I should relate to you on the coming night an the King suffer me to survive?" Now when it was the next night and that was

The Four Hundred and Forty-third Night,